IT July 1, 2009
Posted by purplesandpiper in Blood, Uncategorized.Tags: Life, Vague
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Some day it will treat you with everything you’ve been wishing to the genie, but hearing them all right now is making it feel in debt, pressured, and hoping all at the same time. It will make sure you ride your silver unicorn across the ring of Saturn while spending the afternoons in the front yard of your dreams, waving every time it comes home.
Please forgive it for tearing your castle into pieces that broken glasses and empty jars are only left with you. When the radio seems to be mute when you pass by or when the video stops every time you look, it’s all their fault and they want to pass along their apologies. On the times you might possibly tried to tie the yellow ribbon in the tree but the lace just seems to be too stiff to bend, don’t think that you’re inadequate; you’ve done your part but it just wont cooperate. When your mind is diverting on your Tetris game or crossword puzzles, the villain can’t help but wonder if that’s continuing to amuse you or you’re just too tired to talk in vain. The guilt is in its nose but it’s stubborn enough to make it right. This portrait is not pleasing to look at right now and it’s drawn to improve as much.
It’s selfish, and self-limiting.
Am I too vague that it isn’t helpful to hide what I feel? The emotions I’m giving off are more than what’s happening inside. It’s burning and scattered; you don’t want to get in there. It’s not right to be rude, rather be rude when you are right. I’m not even sure if that’s logical. In all these inconsistencies of events, it’s not easy to accumulate everything and lay it all out corresponding to it’s color. Or form. There are other more things that take place in a second other than what your four eyes can see. Each day seems to pass by as long as 5 seconds and some times as short at 70 hours a day.
Don’t expect from me. I’m lame.
“Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart” June 30, 2009
Posted by purplesandpiper in Photos.Tags: Dreams
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Believe that things take place with its own reasons. In its own time, in a unique way. Never lose heart in the uncertainties of realizing each of your goals. They will never fall down as long as you continue standing. You already know it. Sometimes, you just need a little reminder that these things happen, and it happens with a purpose. You may not know it, you may resent it, but you’ll understand along the way.
Dark Cycle June 26, 2009
Posted by purplesandpiper in Uncategorized.Tags: Broken heart, Pain
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The thick air smothers my broken heart and the clouds dims the horizon towards uncertainty. There’s something in the stars that makes me sense an impending catastrophe of an unknown propagation. Where ever this may be coming from is a place that is used to setting people up in despair and darkness. I landed in the bottom of the ocean and the snakes are rattling around my eyes. The fire continues to blow the wind away from serenity. This is not what I paid for in this journey; there is supposed to be polar bears and penguins running above the water, seven suns that protrudes despite the dark clouds, the blossom of Gerbera’s for the coming feast, the dancing of umbrellas at the moment of blessings.
I’m sailing away towards the promised land but I’m getting clumsy. I am not to blame for all this unpleasant show. My hands are weary and my feet can’t help but bend. On my knees, I infinitely ask for your embrace. In this lonely night with the crescent moon as my guide, bring me your salvation and let me know that I am not here as I wake up from this deep sleep.
Into The Wild June 26, 2009
Posted by purplesandpiper in PurpleSandpiper.Tags: Dreams, Into The Wild, Risks
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“But you are wrong if you think that the joy of life comes principally from the joy of human relationships. God’s place is all around us, it is in everything and in anything we can experience. People just need to change the way they look at things.”
If people are confined in their own comfort zone, how will we learn that the flame can burn the skin, or if the edge is next to a cliff or next to the paradise, or even maybe the river leads to an enormous fall which may end up a landing towards the shore. Sometimes, we have to learn things beyond what our eyes are used to see. There is more to life than being surrounded by the things that are too familiar to us and by the people who lived with is through the years. It’s about time to see that the four corners of our house can also be bound to stretch the diameter of the world. The ocean is wide and deep enough for us to feel its simple pleasures. Meeting people and gaining lessons through them is important enough than gaining our college degrees. Often, some essential things are taken for granted, thinking that those aren’t worth gaining in our lives.
We may end up licking our own wounds from being stubborn, or wishing that we remained inside our closet than exploring the world. But that’s how things should really take place for better ones to take part in the next scene. It’s part of the process. The bruises and the scars are reminders of a well lived life while a flawless image is a picture of a wasted opportunity. We only get one chance, and by taking every opportunity arises greater meaning in living rather than just existing.
In this life, we’ll never know what will happen until we really set our foot on it. By taking chances and accepting the risks that we’ll find out that life can offer us something better. By believing in ourselves that we’ll reach our dreams, someday we’ll all live in our sweet destination.
My heart is getting heavier, I can’t hold it any longer. June 24, 2009
Posted by purplesandpiper in PurpleSandpiper.Tags: Broken heart, Pain, Pensive
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Standing at the back of the car and holding a warm cup of coffee while the wind is blowing, I stare at the puddle of water that remains stagnant by the cold air. It was expected to have heavy rain showers at the start of the day, until it was discovered that the speed of the storm is slowly progressing. Turned out, the storm Feria will come late this evening. All day, I expect for the cold rain to cover the day. I need refuge and comfort which surprisingly I believe to only find it in the pouring of the rain. The coffee is still too hot to burn my tongue so I waited patiently. My left arm is trembling trying to steady the cup and my guts is craving for something to alter the bitter taste. However stationary I am, my mind jumps from one thought to another that I feel like zooming every thing my eyes touch. From the dining room, I know they can see me; I don’t want them to see me. I’m different at this day and expect the worse at the stretch of the week. Hearing their voices calling me, I left my still filled warm cup of coffee at the table outside and ran as the rain started to drizzle.
Running as though every drop avoids touching my cold skin and walking as though I see no one. I can’t talk right now because I don’t want to be cruel. Sleeping was like there’s no more tomorrow for waking up seems like impossible. As if a boulder was put in my chest while I was fast asleep. This is harder than it sounds.
Sitting at the farthest end of the rough bench, I pulled my knees up to my chest and my mind wanders far from where I am. The mud stained my sneakers and someone is playing golf in the middle of the field. He hits the ball so as the water follows through every angle. A couple of residents are having their daily afternoon jogging despite the heavy clouds above. The crickets are singing in the tree which create sounds that is supposed to be annoying but incidentally brings music to my ears at the moment. Soon, I left with little insects creeping in my jeans and t-shirt. Still, the crickets continue to sing for me.
With a heavy heart, I welcomed and departed this day as my soul continues to wither. The pains of disappointment, guilt, neglect, and loneliness are taking its toll in my sensitive life. How do I live like this, I have no idea. I was hostile and difficult for everyone today but it wasn’t a conspiracy. I want to smile and laugh yet I can’t feel my muscles willing to move otherwise.
The storm today was very much anticipated by everyone but it seems like it avoided creating more attention. I’m still waiting for you to come though. I need the cold breeze amidst my weary heart. I want to see the gray clouds covering the sun and welcoming me with its pouring rain.
Do you believe? June 19, 2009
Posted by purplesandpiper in Uncategorized.Tags: Real
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Little surprises come. He should know it himself.
Not so long ago that he woke up at the sound of the kitten at his feet. He knows it has been there for quite a while; at least 7 hours, waiting to be noticed and heard. He answered back right away when he gained a little of his consciousness but he knows it wouldn’t do any better soon. Maybe later.
And of course, he was right. The kitten finally emerges from his back and some sweet moments to linger. This is very unusual, he thought. Like a falling star in a cloudy night. But indeed, he cannot erase the smile on his face. He continues to wish. It’s beyond his ability though it’s unavoidable to understand in vain.
It’s more than a comparison of what’s better, or happier, or friendlier. It’s simply real.
Don’t fret because the rainbow is lacking one of its color. Remember how things go with every blink of an eye that no matter how fast or rare it happens, it’s a part of this whole realm that only you can understand in your own perspective. The dew only comes at dawn and leaves as soon as the sun comes along; the flower still blooms but will wither at the end of the day. They don’t complain but rather continue doing so 24/7. But there are no guarantees.
He can’t take his money back so maybe he’ll just exist as the planet does. He walks and talks but his hands are hiding at his back.
Stop the habit, my friend. Put your hands on and learn that by touching you can heal a million souls and by feeling you can allow yourself to be healed. It’s a pleasure to be in control of what you necessarily have to but it’s a shame to be manipulated by what you know should never be taking place.
“Love Is Stronger Far Than We” June 18, 2009
Posted by purplesandpiper in PurpleSandpiper.Tags: Happy, Life, Passion
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The grind of the juicer, the voices from the television, the mingling of spoon and forks and plates from the kitchen, the sound of every press on the keyboard, the snap of knuckles every after 5 minutes, and Astrud Gilberto on the stereo.
Exhausted and tired. Happy and gay.
I’m ready to hibernate. My eyes are droopy, my mind is clouded, my balance is off. 7 hours ago, my legs are moving steadily along a slightly uphill road and my lungs are puffing in and out casually. It is a day of a bee where different pollens were gathered ending up with a sweet taste in the sting.
Let me remind you of the day before; jolly as a flower springing in June, welcoming the sun as soon as the first ray touched the tip of the petals. I don’t want to spoil the fortune or counteract the spell, but it was a day of sweet and wonderful happenstance:
2 consecutive mails with 3 minutes interval; the friendly and the formal.
1 new message in my inbox; both food for passion and fuel for drive.
1 comforting text message from a close friend.
A little of a sweet conversation with a follower.
1 completed reply mail ready to send.
It’s not all perfect, mind you. An old and reformed friend is making a way to a little portion of my weary heart where she manages to come and leave the space in her own convenience. It’s not as simple as it seems because every time it happens, she does it just casually without noticing that it’s more painful with her ignorance that it’s been hurting.
“Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff” by Carlson is going to be my next book to read. I’m learning to only deal with what’s essential, to hold on to something that will last, to offer something or some people who’s worth giving time and effort.
It’s a joy to look forward to days like those in the former. I’m not expecting to be free from hurt and angst in the next days. It’ll be a broad spectrum of a rainbow; there are dark parts but I’m sure there’s a pot of gold at the end of it.
My body is obtunded, my eyes are sluggish, but my brains can’t resist my compelling hands. I’m sure hitting the sack ’cause this has been heck of a great week so far.
College Nostalgia June 12, 2009
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A sweet taste of freedom, the pains of heartbreak, the semi-independent living, the choices which only you will decide, the risks you’d be willing to take, the letter of notice for disobeying curfew hours, the late night sleep due to studying, the everyday ritual of breakfast and dinner, the TGIF feeling, the 36 hours stay at home and missing your dorm mates, the 1 hour drive on a Sunday afternoon going back to dorm and missing home, the feeling of waking up in a stormy morning and hearing good news of “no classes”, the quickest 10 minutes of shower-dressing up-breakfast-running when the alarm clock didn’t do its role, the long hours of boring lectures and short but sweet conversations with favorite professors, the rare extra-curricular activities but the best ones, then the list goes on and on…
There’s so much about it that going back to those days never fail to make me smile no matter how difficult those times might have been. Even the ugly parts, I’m still glad they happen. And of course, the best days will always be the best and have a special remembrance in my memory. If not because of any single thing that I went through, it wouldn’t be as fulfilling as it is right now.
If I can go back to a chapter of my life, I would definitely choose this part.
To Make You Feel My Love June 8, 2009
Posted by purplesandpiper in PurpleSandpiper.Tags: Adele, Music
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When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you
Haven’t made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I’ve known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong
I’d go hungry
I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there’s nothing
That I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain’t seen nothing
Like me yet
I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
(originally by Bob Dylan)
The world that we live in. June 8, 2009
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“The limits of her world are the walls of their house.”
I heard this from the Discovery channel discussing about the women of Egypt and some of their cultures.
The world has such beautiful scenes that one should never miss. A single step out of your doorstep can bring wonderful colors to your eyes. What an irony that their country has great wonders of the world yet they themselves are deprived of it.
The most magnificent masterpiece that we can all appreciate is the world we live in. Taking photographs, painting, drawing, and music are the most we can do to grasp its vastness and complexity, beauty and simplicity, greatness and love, in our own little hearts.
